As parents, the greatest vision is to nurture their children who possess a positive sense of self and enough self-confidence to adeptly navigate life’s myriad of challenges. We all grapple with situations that exacerbate our fear and anxiety, hindering our forward progress and potential. We have two types of fear: one that protects us, and one that stops us from doing what we may truly enjoy. We are addressing the latter here.
One of the most invaluable gifts we can bestow upon our children is the toolkit and skills needed to confront their fears head-on, enabling them to flourish in their own lives. This establishes a rock-solid foundation from which they can draw daily, paving the way for the creation of a life they deeply cherish.
- Normalizing Fears and emotion: The first step in this journey is to impart to our children that fears and emotions are an entirely normal part of the human experience. By openly acknowledging our own fears and expressing that vulnerability, we demystify the “scary” nature of these emotions. It is crucial to convey that everyone, from parents to peers, grapples with our own fears. Foster open communication with your children, creating a safe space where they feel comfortable discussing their own fears, anxieties and emotions.
- Identifying Fears: In order to conquer fears, it’s essential to pinpoint them. Children need to have the vocabulary to articulate their feelings, fears and anxieties. These may include the fear of inadequacy, failure, and rejection, among many others. Guide your children in asking themselves, “What am I afraid of?” This self-awareness empowers them to identify and confront the fears that are holding them back. Encourage them to compile a list of these fears through writing or drawing, helping them take the first step towards overcoming them.
- Harnessing Inner Motivation: Overcoming fear can be a formidable challenge that necessitates inner strength, motivation, and resilience. Assist your children in connecting with their inner resources, strength, passions, and dreams. These aspirations provide the impetus to surmount obstacles, including fear. Encourage them to cultivate dreams, using their imagination to visualize them. Teach them to set goals and create action plans to transform these dreams into reality. They don’t have to be big dreams, they can be small steps as they discover what they truly want to do.
- Taking Action: Once fears are identified, and inner motivation is kindled, children have a foundation to work from. Life often presents moments when they must push through the boundaries of fear. This can be scary! And also so empowering. Help them understand that taking action in the face of fear is transformative. Those “butterflies” or nervous energy are signals to an opportunity. Emphasize that they can choose to focus on doing their best rather than trying to control external outcomes or meet others’ expectations.
- Power of Visualization: Fear mostly resides in the mind and body, making visualization techniques a potent tool for both children and adults. Teach children to use their minds to release fear. Teach them to pinpoint where and how fear manifests in their bodies and employ the power of visualization to let it go. Specific visualizations designed for children can be found in resources like the “Freeing Freddie the Dream Weaver Workbook and Activity Book” as well as the on line program for children 5yrs-12yrs.
- Love and Peace: Love and peace are the antitheses of fear. Cultivate a home environment where children feel safe, loved, and peaceful. Maintain a calm and composed tone at home, as children often model their behavior on what they observe in adults. Promote self-love and compassion in children, as these qualities leave no room for fear. Demonstrate kindness and love to them and others, serving as a living example of the behavior you want them to emulate.
- Meditation: Meditation is a powerful practice that fosters inner peace and compassion, promoting physical and mental well-being. Introduce meditation to children early in life, providing them with an inner compass to navigate towards peace and joy. Various meditation techniques are available. The practice helps release stress, anxiety, and fear, replacing them with stability, self-confidence, and self-love. After meditation, life’s challenges often appear more manageable.
In nurturing these seven pillars of fear management, parents can equip their children with the tools and mindset to confront fears, fostering resilience, self-assuredness, and a lifelong capacity to embrace the fullness of life’s opportunities.